


It's Just as Painful the Second Time

by MsBlam



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Angst with no happy ending, Character Death, Gen, Hand to God I wasn't planning on having it end like this but it just happened anyway, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 06:14:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20502242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsBlam/pseuds/MsBlam
Summary: Hashirama and Naruto, Madara and Sasuke, they are the same but not. Maybe it should make things different this time, but it only makes it more painful.





	It's Just as Painful the Second Time

The thing was.

The thing _is_, Sasuke remembers things. Places he had never been, people he had never seen. He remembers –

He remembers Izuna.

He looks in the mirror and it _aches_ how much he looks like his –

Not his little brother, Sasuke had never had a younger sibling. Well, he had, but Itachi had slaughtered Ka-san before their little sibling could ever be more than a fluttering heartbeat and the annoyed push of an elbow through skin as Sasuke had poked at his mother’s belly.

He had been so excited to meet his younger sibling, so excited at the thought of having someone to play with, to teach, to protect, but it had all turned to blood in one night at the hands of the person he loved most in the world.

It was a thousand days lost, endless smiles and laughter that were nothing but ash in his hands.

Why was it, he was always alone in the end?

Why did his world always end in agony and pain?

He could still see it in his minds eye, the way Izuna had frozen in shock and pain as Tobirama had ripped out his side, rending his organs in a wound that would take _days_ to kill him. It had been agony, sitting at Izuna’s side and watching as the infection wracked through Izuna’s body until he was too weak to even raise his head on his own. He’d felt Izuna’s hand grow fever hot in his, and then eventually, he’d felt Izuna’s hand grow cold.

He’d begged, pleaded with any god that might be listing, begged them to save Izuna, begged them not to leave him all alone, but none had listened.

He’d begged when he’d come home to find his kin slaughtered in the streets too. He’d begged that it was nothing more than a nightmare, but no. The wanton slaughter was reality. He was alone again, and now the monster that haunted his dreams wasn’t a demon with white hair and red eyes, it was Itachi.

Itachi. His older brother, his world, his hero. Itachi had been the center of his world, the person Sasuke had adored above all others, and his older brother had reached out and crushed his heart in blood soaked hands.

All for Konoha. For the sake of this fucking village that Hashirama had wanted so badly.

He’s going to destroy it, he’s going to burn it down to the foundation, and then he’ll rip out everything beneath that with his bare hands if he has to.

He’d warned the Uchiha, but they hadn’t listened to him, and now he was the last.

He’s looking down over Konoha, standing in the exact spot him and Hashirama had so many years ago. The noonday sun baking down on him does nothing to warm the ugly hurt that chills his bones.

There are footsteps behind him, slow, unhurried, and it’s entirely expected when Naruto comes to a stop next to him.

“Is this what we are, two fools cured to repeat the same tragedy for all time?” Naruto asks, his voice carrying into the open air and seaming to drop off the cliff’s edge. He sounds resigned.

Sasuke would make fun of him if things were different. He’d never known Naruto to speak so eloquently, but then again, he remembers when the man beside him was Hokage, charming other Kage and citizens alike.

“Maybe.”

Sasuke doesn’t much care, there’s nothing left to care about. He’d simply throw himself off the cliff and be done with it, but his pride wouldn’t let him. His pride, and the bone deep hatred of everything stretched below him.

It’ this place that had taken everything from him. Because of Konoha, his clan had turned against him. Because of this place, Hashirama had cut him down. Because of this place, Itachi had slaughtered _children_. Because of Konoha, Itachi had sacrificed the Uchiha and set himself as a villain for Sasuke to cut down.

Itachi had ruined himself for Konoha.

“You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me.” His voice comes out soft and cracked at the edges, but no words will ever be able to convey how much he hates the man next to him.

He doesn’t care how there is a pained hitch of breath from the man next to him. No pain in the world will ever be enough to repay the man what he’s done.

If it wasn’t for him, there would never have been peace between the Uchiha and the Senju, and maybe he would have still lost Izuna, but at least he would still have his clan.

Konoha had killed the Uchiha as surly as if the man next to him had slit their throats one at a time.

“Are you going to cut me down? To protect Konoha?” He asks.

“I’m going to save you, Sasuke.” Words so quiet and sure, so determined.

“The only thing I’ve ever needed saving from was you.”

He can still feel the blade, white hot and agonizing, being driven through his back, feel the hot gush of blood flooding his lungs.

He turns to face Naruto.

It hurts. It’s hurt both times, because both times, he’s always loved the man in front of him before he’d hated him.

“I wish I’d never met you, I wish you’d never been born. I hate you. I hate you and I hope you die choking on your own blood, cold and alone, face down in a river. I hope everyone you ever love abandons you. I hope the person you love kills you.” He’s looking into ocean blue eyes as he speaks, his gaze doesn’t waver.

“I hate you.”

He could scream it into his face, carve it into the blonde’s flesh one character at a time, and it would never be enough to convey how much he hates him. Loathes this man with everything he has inside of him, would happily wrap his fingers around a tanned throat and _squeeze_, feel the press of flesh, the hollow give of his windpipe, the wet snap of his spine.

Tears are leaking out of Naruto’s eyes, and Sasuke hates him for it. Hates him so much. What are tears worth after everything between them? Tears are for people that care, that feel pain and hurt. Naruto doesn’t get to feel like that.

And then Naruto smiles at him. It’s soft and sweet and Sasuke hates him even more for it.

“That’s okay, because I’m glad I got to meet you. I’m so glad you were born, Sasuke. I love you and hope you live a long life, surrounded by people that you love, and that they never leave you alone. I love you, Sasuke.” Naruto says his name like it’s something precious, like he hadn’t destroyed Sasuke’s world over and over again.

He hates him so much it hurts.

“I’m going to destroy Konoha. I’m going to kill everyone you’ve ever loved, and then I’m going to kill you.” It’s a promise, no matter how long it takes, no matter how many lifetimes he has to suffer through, he’s going to avenge his brothers, and he’s going to destroy the man responsible for his pain.

Naruto takes five steps, crossing the distance between them, and it suites Sasuke just fine because he’s planning on reaching out and shoving a kunai into the side of the blonde’s neck, yanking it forward and ripping out his throat. Not even the Kubi would be able to heal that.

Naruto takes one more step, and they are so close Sasuke’s entire world has narrowed down to endless blue. He lets arms wrap around him and pull him close, because that just means he can reach up and drive a kunai into the base of Naruto’s skull, ending his life as quickly as a candle being blown out. He can feel Naruto’s heart beating against his, it’s slow and steady.

“I promised, didn’t I? I promised.” Naruto whippers into his ear.

Sasuke doesn’t know which one he means.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke.”

Agony, agony and the choking feeling of blood filling his lungs. He laughs and blood comes up with the sound. Naruto had stabbed him, again. It’s the exact same place as last time.

But unlike last time, the man in front of him doesn’t’ disappear. He feels the blood gush from Naruto’s mouth in a small wave and smear onto the side of his neck.

He snarls, trying to push the blond away, but the blade is caught on one of his ribs, the edge biting into the bone and holding him fast. The motion sends white hot pain through him, and it drives him to his knees, pulling Naruto with him.

They are kneeling in the dirt, exactly where they had stood side by side and decided this was where they would build their dream, and Sasuke hates him so much.

The angle of the blade means it had nicked Naruto’s heart, enough that if he didn’t remove the blade he would probably die too.

“You think this makes it better?” He snarls past the suffocating wetness of blood.

Naruto doesn’t answer him.

There is a hand on his shoulder, the other is just to the right of the blade that is going to kill him very soon.

Sasuke reaches up and grabs a handful of Naruto’s hair and _wrenches_ him back. It’s enough to separate them a few inches. It’s probably more painful for Naruto, the way the sword is caught on Sasuke’s ribs means at least the blade isn’t able to move around in his flesh.

He takes only pleasure in the pained cry it gets form Naruto, not even caring how the same motion nearly makes him black out.

He can pull back enough to see Naruto’s face, and the blond is smiling at him still, teeth blood on bone white.

_I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you_

It’s a mantra in his head, but he can’t get enough air in his lungs to spit the words out.

They stare at each other, and it’s no surprise that Sasuke loses his strength first. He can’t help the way he slumps forward, but the pain is dulled by the blackness overtaking his vison. He distantly feels arms wrap around him, holding him, but he can’t do anything. He can’t do anything, just like always.

He’s been killed again by the man he loves and the last thing he feels is a head thumping down on his shoulder and the arms around him going weak as their heartbeats stutter out.

**Author's Note:**

> yikes, this didn't go how I planned. Like I was going for a nice AU where they remembered their bast incarnations, and maybe they could finally sort their shit out, but instead I got this.
> 
> Also I don't acknowledge anything to do with bullshit resurrections or cheating death or a rabbit moon god or whatever. Madara died in the Valley of the End, you can't change my mind.


End file.
